Hope

I woke up early Thursday morning to find I was bleeding. I yelled for Brian to wake up and take me to the hospital. We called my sister to keep Gracie. She got here in thirteen minutes. Thirteen minutes has never felt so long. The emergency department performed an ultra sound. It revealed the baby had a heartbeat! I felt momentary relief. Then they told me there was a pool of blood around it. With that news they sent us home to follow up with our OB later that day. When the OB got us in she diagnosed the condition as "placenta previa." It's where the placenta grows over the cervix. It's unusual for it to show up this early in pregnancy, and impossible to gage the severity of. For now, I'm home on total bedrest for the next two weeks. When that's up I'll go back the OB and see if the placenta has shifted. At that time she'll try and diagnose the degreee of the condition. It could be partial, moderate, or complete. Given the presence of blood in the uterus already it's likely to be moderate or severe. If by chance though it's partial I'll be allowed to return to life as usual. Otherwise, it's more bed rest and hoping to keep the baby inside me and growing as long as possible. My body could give way as early as 26 weeks, or as late as 36. Every day closer to 36 the baby can stay inside the healthier it will be. When the baby does decide to come it will be taken by c-section. While I know this is to prevent me from hemoraging and protect the health of both myself and the baby it terrifies me. I'm frustrating and wishing I knew why my body had failed?